The following correspondence is reproduced, in slightly modified form, with the authors permission.
Dear Reverend Master,
There is something that I wanted to write to you about. On Wednesday, on my return from Scotland, whilst on public transport, a thought came into the head: ‘You could have (or send out) love for all these people here. There is no need to be defensive or closed in’. This was interesting, as it had never occurred to me in this way. Somehow, I think I have never truly known what love is – it is only starting now slowly to dawn on me. It started off about two years ago, when all of a sudden I realised that I could just love the little ducklings on the lake. I guess I’ll need to nurture (or keep reminding myself of) this little plant – or should I just let it grow on its own?
Dear Friend,
Love, Compassion and Wisdom are the fundamental True Nature of your being. You don’t need to do anything other than trust that this is so and notice when anguish, frustration, ill will and the like are there and let them go. In the very middle of what we regard as faults can be found love. Just open your heart, keep your insides soft and pliable and what flows, will flow. Love is not a thought; you will not necessarily consciously know about it in your daily life. You will see it’s shadow and that is the stuff of meditation and daily life practice. That’s watering the little plant!
Dear Reverend Master,
I thank you for these words.
In gassho,
Dear Reverend Master Mugo,
Thanks for this posting.
It seems very relevant to some of the shadows that i seem to be creating for myself at the moment – needlessly…and needily (if that makes sense?).
I find it very hard to trust that i can be open, soft, and naive – even in meditation – let alone in ‘life’.
When i am able to begin to trust this direction, more often than not it is accompanied with what i can only describe as a gentle sense of ‘joyful sadness’ or for some reason the phrase ‘good grief’ has popped into my brain- which sounds a more than a little absurd – but it is the best way i can think of to describe this feeling/movement.
However, it seems that in an instant (…and for some duration) i can recoil back into a very defensive and habitual way of reacting to the world that seems to care very much about appearing competent and being great, and not looking stupid or failing, …and then the shadows seem to become a bit more numerous and a bit more real!
This dynamic seems to be quite persistent – i find it very difficult to allow what seems to be a sense of vulnerability into my life (in the day to day sense of the word) but when i don’t – then i seem to bump in to things a lot (metaphorically speaking!) which causes regret…
I think there is a question in here somewhere, but rereading your posting seems to answer it too!
I did write a comment along similar lines earlier (which, of course, seemed much more to the point) – but then i pressed something and lost it into cyberspace – much to my amusement!
So apologies for being a little long winded!
In Gassho,
Miles
Thanks Miles, glad you didn’t give up after cyberspace swallowed your first message! Interestingly enough to-day I was pondering on writing about asking questions for a posting. I’ll do that.
Keep going, and keep taking Refuge in Buddha, Dharma and Sangha. They are not called the Triple Treasure for nothing.
Thankyou, I will do.
…I get the feeling this may be one of those ongoing long-term things!
Thankyou for creating this space to be able to explore and reflect upon training/life in this way. It is deeply appreciated.
in Gassho,
Miles